As long as I can remember, the phrase "to be a doctor" has been my automatic answer when asked about what I'd like to be when I grow up. Yes, there were days when I wanted to be a firefighter, a lawyer, a librarian, a DJ, an international spy, a mafia member, a ninja, a vampire, a superhero and probably all the other professions available, both in real life and in fantasy world. But all throughout my almost-twenty-one years of living, being a doctor has always been my dream.
But can a dream sustain me for probably another ten to fifteen more years of studying? Time and again, I had to rethink. Sometimes, I even had to re-dream. I had to stop and imagine the future me. Where am I? What am I doing? More importantly, am I happy? Do I have any regrets?
Somewhere along the way, I may have dreamt another dream. It was easy to answer those self-evaluation questions. Where am I? I have seen myself in another city, another country, or another continent. What am I doing? I have been attracted by get-rich-quick schemes. I have seen myself as a nurse who earns half a million a month. But when it came to the last two questions, let's just say I was like a little girl asking for sour gummy worms but given chocolates instead. Yes, 99% of humans want chocolate. Yes, 99% of humans think that sweet, heavenly chocolates are more enticing than sour gummy worms. But do we forget about the other 1%? No, or at least I don't -- because I'm one of them. I'm one of those who would rather cringe and make faces while eating sour gummy worms rather than eating heavenly chocolates.
So why use chocolates and sour gummy worms as illustrations? It's like this: You want chocolate because you really want it, or because everybody else wants it. Either way, you want, so you get. When you get, you take a bite. You feel fulfilled and keep eating because it tastes good. But that's it.
The sour gummy worms, however, makes something special happen along the way. So there you are, wanting sour gummy worms. Same thing with chocolates, you want, so you get. When you get, you take a bite. And here is where we take a detour on the road to something special. When you take a bite, your taste buds register this weird sour taste. It sends signals to your brain and your brain says, "Hey! This is something different!" It is then that your salivary glands produce, well what else, saliva and even more saliva! It makes you crave for more of that peculiar sourness. You eat and eat until you're satisfied.
I know some may say, "Why bother risking humiliation by making awful faces while eating sour gummy worms when you can be smiling safely while eating chocolates?" That, I can answer with a cliché: Isn't it that the journey is as important, if not more, than the destination? Would you rather bore yourself at home, or go out and have one heck of an adventure? It's not much of a choice, is it?
Five or six years ago, I watched Robin Williams as he portrayed Hunter Campbell who is more commonly known as Patch Adams. I will never forget what he said in his final speech during a hearing which could make or break his medicine career. He said that he did his best to help the people who came to him; that treating a disease of the body is a win-or-lose situation, but treating a person's spirit guarantees a win regardless of the outcome, even when the outcome is death. Those words carved themselves into my heart. And during my college years, as I breathed in every smell in every hospital I went to, those words haunted me.
So why use chocolates and sour gummy worms as illustrations? It's like this: You want chocolate because you really want it, or because everybody else wants it. Either way, you want, so you get. When you get, you take a bite. You feel fulfilled and keep eating because it tastes good. But that's it.
The sour gummy worms, however, makes something special happen along the way. So there you are, wanting sour gummy worms. Same thing with chocolates, you want, so you get. When you get, you take a bite. And here is where we take a detour on the road to something special. When you take a bite, your taste buds register this weird sour taste. It sends signals to your brain and your brain says, "Hey! This is something different!" It is then that your salivary glands produce, well what else, saliva and even more saliva! It makes you crave for more of that peculiar sourness. You eat and eat until you're satisfied.
I know some may say, "Why bother risking humiliation by making awful faces while eating sour gummy worms when you can be smiling safely while eating chocolates?" That, I can answer with a cliché: Isn't it that the journey is as important, if not more, than the destination? Would you rather bore yourself at home, or go out and have one heck of an adventure? It's not much of a choice, is it?
Five or six years ago, I watched Robin Williams as he portrayed Hunter Campbell who is more commonly known as Patch Adams. I will never forget what he said in his final speech during a hearing which could make or break his medicine career. He said that he did his best to help the people who came to him; that treating a disease of the body is a win-or-lose situation, but treating a person's spirit guarantees a win regardless of the outcome, even when the outcome is death. Those words carved themselves into my heart. And during my college years, as I breathed in every smell in every hospital I went to, those words haunted me.
Sleepless nights. Dull-painted rooms. Long, lonely hallways. Heart-wrenching cries. Shouts of pain. Screams of anger. Nonexistent social life. -- What are those compared to the laughter of children, the "Thank you's" from the patients and their relatives? What are those compared to the fulfillment and satisfaction and indescribable joy that I would feel before I close my eyes to go to sleep thinking that I improved patients' quality of life? What are those compared to being of service to others, touching their lives and making a difference?
Can a dream sustain me for probably another ten to fifteen more years of studying? Hell yeah! Now give me my sour gummy worms, will you?
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