A Century In Girl Years

I watched TV this morning, after gazillion years. Yes, this is worth blogging. Why? Because this morning, I happen to accidentally click the wrong channel. I ended up at Star Movies, and at that very moment, a movie was just about to start. So I thought, "Yeah. WTH. I'll watch it." And the movie was:

So, most of you might think that this is just another chick-flick. Well, yes, it is. It is one of those sappy, shallow, chick flicks that bore guys to death and fires all film critics' tomato shotguns. I am fully aware of that. However, I still liked this movie. Mainly because of the reason that I could somehow relate to the whole "best friends-fighting" thing. No, I am not yet married. I'm not even engaged yet. But I have "fought" like a hateful, backward toddler with one of the best friends that I had.

We were practically inseparable. We dreamed dreams together. We planned vacations together. We had this whole plan of setting up our children so they would end up together. We enjoyed all the laughs, all the bloopers, all the tears, all the intellectual conversations and even our "slow" moments. It was, as a romantic aptly put it, a fairytale friendship. You cannot simply find another one like it. When some other person likes exactly the same things that you like. When they think the same thoughts. When both of you are in the same wave length. When both of you would never think of doing anything that could hurt the other. When both of you are genuinely sure that all is well and it would be smooth sailing all the way. However, fairy tales don't exist in the real word. Reality bites. And it bites hard.

And just like in the movie, all started well until something they both want so badly comes up, and neither of them wants to give up. So what are these girls like?

This is Liv Lerner.
Liv, played by Kate Hudson, is a successful lawyer who is used to getting her way, and won't settle for anything else. She attempts to be perfect, ever since her parents died when she was a child. For lack of a better word, she is a bitch.







Meet Emma Allen.
Emma, played by Anne Hathaway, is a passive middle school teacher who takes care of everyone, but forgets about having some time for herself.



Do you know that feeling when you feel like your life has been used as a reference for some movies? I felt like mine was being used in this one. At the very start of the movie, I was like, "I can totally relate to Emma. Oh yeah, I am SO Emma." But then, as the movie progresses, I realize that I am like Liv, too. Incapable of accepting that, yes, I can be really intimidating and such a perfectionist that I don't even notice how I can be so controlling. In a very subtle manner, of course, since I don't want people to know that I'm manipulating them already.

Fortunately, we didn't get to the point where we'll do things to make the other's skin turn orange or the other's hair turn blue. But we did some pretty nasty things and said scornful remarks. Words slice sharper and deeper than some Excalibur, they say. Honestly, I was deeply hurt by all those things she said about me. Especially when she fired all of it even if I wasn't doing anything at all to her. Because I do know, and I am sincerely sure, that none of them were true. For the first dozen shots, I accepted every wound; proudly embracing them as my battle scars. But then, my defenses started to weaken. You know how we girls are. There comes a time when we can't just sit here and do nothing. It is our instinct to fight back once hurt. So there I was, letting out the tigress that I so long held captive. It started from a couple of jokes. Then, with the help of my oh-so-powerful mind, all the insults just started flowing out. I was enjoying it then. It felt so good to make fun of someone else. Yeah, I know I'm not perfect. I know I have flaws. I actually have very low self-esteem. And she painfully hit that. I hated her for liking the same things that I like. I hated her for copying me. So I won't just let her walk away victoriously. I refuse to let her have the last laugh. Being the sly fox that I am, I managed to hit her where it hurts. I knew that she would retaliate but I didn't care. The more insults she throw back at me, the more I felt fulfilled. I thought I was winning. 

I wanted to hurt her. I knew I had a power over him, and I used that to my advantage. It worked so well, I was literally practicing my evil laugh. But then a really good friend of mine asked me if all I was doing was worth the effort, if I was happy, if everything that I've been doing is me. That made me stop, look and listen. I had to stop my mouth from talking and my fingers from typing. I had to look at myself in the mirror to realize that I don't know whose reflection it is that I'm seeing. I had to listen to my heart for me to understand that none of it makes me happy, and that none of it is who I really am. I was very much ashamed of who I've become. So I decided that I would no longer hurl any more insults, albeit all that I am receiving. I decided to force myself to stop hating and be indifferent instead. I got tired of her, of all the insults, and most especially, I got tired of myself.

To her defense, she had no idea that I was harmless. Just like me, she was fed with the wrong information by the wrong person. We we're technically brainwashed. And of course, when I started fighting back, she had to defend herself, too. It was a pathetic cycle that both of us got caught in. 

So there I was this morning, crying my eyes out over some chick flick, as I was reminiscing those days when I tackled some other girl in my head over and over again. As the movie ended, a smile spread across my face. It was a lose-lose fight. Or was it?

We've reconciled. Hopefully, we could go back to the ways things were before the huge mess. If we don't, I guess it was a learning experience for the both of us, and we both have to heal our wounds. If we do, then I hope the whole almost-but-not-really cat fight is something that made our friendship stronger, and is something that we would laugh at a couple of years from now... or a few hours from now. :)

I will close with this very beautiful quote from the movie:

"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along."